1 00:00:09,841 --> 00:00:12,043 You'll have exactly 60 seconds, Loci. 2 00:00:32,565 --> 00:00:35,500 Ah, there you are. 3 00:00:35,502 --> 00:00:39,471 This is Mr. West and Mr. Gordon. 4 00:00:39,473 --> 00:00:40,805 How do you do? 5 00:00:42,141 --> 00:00:43,241 And this... 6 00:00:43,243 --> 00:00:45,710 is Gerda Sharff. 7 00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:48,179 The answer to all my prayers. 8 00:00:48,181 --> 00:00:50,081 Oh, well, congratulations. 9 00:00:50,083 --> 00:00:51,516 I hope you'll both be very happy. 10 00:00:51,518 --> 00:00:54,519 Hang it all, Gordon, I didn't mean it that way. 11 00:00:54,521 --> 00:00:55,920 Oh. 12 00:00:55,922 --> 00:00:57,989 Now, Miss Sharff happens to be a member- 13 00:00:57,991 --> 00:01:02,093 Correction. An ex-member of Count Manzeppi's organization, 14 00:01:02,095 --> 00:01:04,962 who has offered to give us some very helpful information 15 00:01:04,964 --> 00:01:05,963 about him. 16 00:01:07,300 --> 00:01:08,633 Any questions? 17 00:01:08,635 --> 00:01:11,802 Mmm. That's a delightful perfume you're wearing. 18 00:01:11,804 --> 00:01:13,438 Uh, is that jasmine? 19 00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:16,107 What? Oh, no. It's patchouli. 20 00:01:16,109 --> 00:01:17,875 Oh, it's charming. 21 00:01:17,877 --> 00:01:19,611 Could you tell us where we might find 22 00:01:19,613 --> 00:01:21,179 Count Manzeppi now? 23 00:01:21,181 --> 00:01:22,947 And how much money that information 24 00:01:22,949 --> 00:01:24,182 is going to cost our government. 25 00:01:25,484 --> 00:01:28,019 Confound it, West, that wasn't called for. 26 00:01:28,021 --> 00:01:31,256 Please, colonel, let me. 27 00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:34,125 The answer to your question is not a penny. 28 00:01:34,127 --> 00:01:36,594 There. You see, Jim? 29 00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:39,197 Shame on you. 30 00:01:39,199 --> 00:01:42,700 Uh, you do want something, though, don't you? 31 00:01:42,702 --> 00:01:45,136 Yes. Help. To escape. 32 00:01:45,138 --> 00:01:47,238 Count Manzeppi has a long arm, 33 00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:48,739 and when he finds out what I'm- 34 00:02:03,089 --> 00:02:05,056 Here. 35 00:02:20,839 --> 00:02:21,772 Colonel! 36 00:02:31,083 --> 00:02:34,285 Where, uh... Where's the young lady? 37 00:02:34,287 --> 00:02:35,786 Gone. 38 00:02:35,788 --> 00:02:37,922 Luncheon appointment, no doubt. I'll take the stairs. 39 00:02:37,924 --> 00:02:38,989 I'll take the high road. 40 00:03:09,054 --> 00:03:11,623 Well, she wasn't on the stairs. 41 00:03:11,625 --> 00:03:13,991 All I could find was that. 42 00:03:13,993 --> 00:03:16,961 Little souvenir she probably dropped. 43 00:03:28,675 --> 00:03:32,343 To my cherished antagonists, 44 00:03:32,345 --> 00:03:36,847 if you have survived my little surprise, that is. 45 00:03:36,849 --> 00:03:40,752 Let this serve as a reminder that my creative capacity 46 00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:43,187 to delude you is infinite. 47 00:03:43,189 --> 00:03:45,790 My resources are endless. 48 00:03:45,792 --> 00:03:47,825 But my patience, 49 00:03:47,827 --> 00:03:50,261 sad to say, is quite limited. 50 00:03:50,263 --> 00:03:52,863 Need I say this? 51 00:03:52,865 --> 00:03:54,766 You have been warned 52 00:03:54,768 --> 00:04:00,104 by Count Carlos Mario Vincenzo Robespierre Manzeppi... 53 00:04:00,106 --> 00:04:02,273 your servant. 54 00:05:43,074 --> 00:05:45,943 The scent of patchouli is in the air. 55 00:05:45,945 --> 00:05:47,612 Can Gerda be far behind? 56 00:05:47,614 --> 00:05:49,547 Oh, wait, please. 57 00:05:53,118 --> 00:05:56,120 Ah, yes, of course. 58 00:05:56,122 --> 00:05:58,456 "The long arm of Count Manzeppi," 59 00:05:58,458 --> 00:06:00,057 as you put it. 60 00:06:00,059 --> 00:06:02,760 Now, there's a coincidence. 61 00:06:02,762 --> 00:06:04,228 I have a dressing gown 62 00:06:04,230 --> 00:06:06,063 exactly like that. 63 00:06:06,065 --> 00:06:08,833 Oh, please, Mr. West. I had to take a bath. 64 00:06:08,835 --> 00:06:10,768 All that plaster dust from the explosion 65 00:06:10,770 --> 00:06:12,269 was in my hair. 66 00:06:12,271 --> 00:06:14,338 I do hope you don't mind my borrowing this. 67 00:06:14,340 --> 00:06:15,940 Mind? I'm grateful. 68 00:06:15,942 --> 00:06:18,443 I never knew how delightfully it could be filled out. 69 00:06:18,445 --> 00:06:22,814 And, Mr. West, you saved my life back there. 70 00:06:22,816 --> 00:06:27,217 I want you to know how very, very grateful I am. 71 00:06:27,219 --> 00:06:28,753 You're very good at that, Gerda. 72 00:06:28,755 --> 00:06:30,421 Good at what? 73 00:06:30,423 --> 00:06:32,723 That shy, little-schoolgirl routine... 74 00:06:34,225 --> 00:06:37,127 when actually you're as hard as nails, aren't you? 75 00:06:45,471 --> 00:06:49,941 With a minimum of tricks, Mr. West. 76 00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:52,810 Give me your gun belt if you want to stay alive. 77 00:07:04,690 --> 00:07:06,657 Now let's get down to cases. 78 00:07:06,659 --> 00:07:09,259 You have something I dropped, and I want it back. 79 00:07:09,261 --> 00:07:10,361 A little toy chicken. 80 00:07:10,363 --> 00:07:12,129 That's it. Give it to me. 81 00:07:12,131 --> 00:07:14,532 I'm sorry, but it's locked in the colonel's vault. 82 00:07:14,534 --> 00:07:16,634 Drop by and pick it up tomorrow. 83 00:07:16,636 --> 00:07:18,068 I want it now. 84 00:07:18,070 --> 00:07:19,504 What's the big hurry? 85 00:07:19,506 --> 00:07:21,672 You saw what happened in Colonel Armstrong's office. 86 00:07:21,674 --> 00:07:25,877 I'm on the run. You silly, silly little girl. 87 00:07:25,879 --> 00:07:28,579 You're not running anywhere. 88 00:07:30,516 --> 00:07:32,517 I hope you're not misguided enough 89 00:07:32,519 --> 00:07:33,584 to think that I won't shoot. 90 00:07:35,086 --> 00:07:36,453 Oh, no. 91 00:07:36,455 --> 00:07:37,522 I'm sure you would 92 00:07:37,524 --> 00:07:39,323 and I'm sure you'd enjoy it, 93 00:07:39,325 --> 00:07:41,993 but your concern should be out there. 94 00:07:41,995 --> 00:07:45,129 Count Manzeppi's somewhere out there. 95 00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:46,797 That's enough of your tired little tricks. 96 00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:48,098 He didn't see me come here. 97 00:07:48,100 --> 00:07:51,636 Count Manzeppi doesn't have to see anything. 98 00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:55,640 His specialty is figuring out what people will do. 99 00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:57,408 And right now the count is probably figuring, 100 00:07:57,410 --> 00:07:58,643 "If I were Gerda 101 00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:01,712 "and I were on the run, where would I run to? 102 00:08:01,714 --> 00:08:06,116 Ah, yes. James West's railroad car." 103 00:08:06,118 --> 00:08:07,552 People really should make a point 104 00:08:07,554 --> 00:08:10,421 of listening to you, Mr. West. 105 00:08:10,423 --> 00:08:12,189 He makes a great deal of sense, 106 00:08:12,191 --> 00:08:13,257 doesn't he, Loci? 107 00:08:26,038 --> 00:08:28,372 My compliments, sir. 108 00:08:28,374 --> 00:08:31,809 I, uh- I would invite you and your friend in, 109 00:08:31,811 --> 00:08:32,810 except, uh, 110 00:08:32,812 --> 00:08:35,479 you are already, aren't you? 111 00:08:35,481 --> 00:08:36,881 Gerda! 112 00:08:39,284 --> 00:08:41,586 My flower. 113 00:08:59,337 --> 00:09:02,306 I'm afraid you've been very naughty. 114 00:09:02,308 --> 00:09:05,442 Don't think I won't shoot, count. I will. 115 00:09:05,444 --> 00:09:08,512 Bless you, my child, of course you'll shoot me. 116 00:09:08,514 --> 00:09:10,547 Don't the ladies have unique ways 117 00:09:10,549 --> 00:09:12,116 of showing their affection? 118 00:09:13,752 --> 00:09:16,286 You're a connoisseur in these matters, Mr. West. 119 00:09:16,288 --> 00:09:19,924 How would you rate our Gerda on the scale of pulchritude? 120 00:09:19,926 --> 00:09:21,492 Very high. 121 00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:23,460 And in the matter of morals? 122 00:09:24,763 --> 00:09:26,931 Very low. 123 00:09:26,933 --> 00:09:28,866 Hm-hm. I agree. 124 00:09:28,868 --> 00:09:30,134 On both counts. 125 00:09:31,604 --> 00:09:34,505 Gerda, my blossom, you seem troubled. 126 00:09:34,507 --> 00:09:36,073 There's no need to be. 127 00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:37,742 You're among friends. 128 00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:40,845 But then, friends don't shoot each other, do they? 129 00:09:40,847 --> 00:09:43,681 Any more than they steal from one another. 130 00:09:43,683 --> 00:09:47,952 Return to me that which you stole from me 131 00:09:47,954 --> 00:09:49,453 and I'll forgive you... 132 00:09:50,622 --> 00:09:52,222 after I punish you. 133 00:09:52,224 --> 00:09:54,892 Ha, ha. But more of that anon. 134 00:09:54,894 --> 00:09:58,295 I do admire your quarters, sir. 135 00:09:58,297 --> 00:10:00,865 Very smartly gotten up. 136 00:10:00,867 --> 00:10:02,633 I could be quite comfortable here. 137 00:10:09,641 --> 00:10:12,576 But then, I seem to have told you that on another occasion, 138 00:10:12,578 --> 00:10:14,879 and you haven't taken the hint yet. 139 00:10:18,349 --> 00:10:22,219 Very nice, indeed. 140 00:10:22,221 --> 00:10:24,254 Don't you agree, Luther? 141 00:10:24,256 --> 00:10:26,623 It's okay. 142 00:10:26,625 --> 00:10:29,560 Luther Coil. 143 00:10:29,562 --> 00:10:32,830 Another connoisseur of impeccable taste. 144 00:10:32,832 --> 00:10:35,066 Delayed adolescent, wouldn't you say? 145 00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:38,769 At heart, aren't we all? 146 00:10:38,771 --> 00:10:42,173 Show Mr. West how your toy works, Luther. 147 00:10:43,742 --> 00:10:47,611 You throw it up, you get ready... 148 00:10:47,613 --> 00:10:50,614 you throw it up and you aim... 149 00:10:50,616 --> 00:10:52,883 you throw it up... 150 00:10:52,885 --> 00:10:54,685 and you fire. 151 00:11:02,761 --> 00:11:05,395 Some fun. Huh? 152 00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:17,474 Very nice. 153 00:11:21,679 --> 00:11:23,513 Okay... 154 00:11:23,515 --> 00:11:25,482 now let's start playing rough. 155 00:11:25,484 --> 00:11:27,818 Come, come, Luther. 156 00:11:27,820 --> 00:11:30,221 Greediness is unbecoming. 157 00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:33,157 Let others amuse themselves. 158 00:11:35,894 --> 00:11:36,994 Dodo. 159 00:11:42,533 --> 00:11:44,902 Dodo le Blanc. 160 00:11:44,904 --> 00:11:47,471 Another valued colleague of mine 161 00:11:47,473 --> 00:11:49,573 from the isle of Mauritius. 162 00:11:49,575 --> 00:11:50,808 Solid, 163 00:11:50,810 --> 00:11:54,278 foursquare, with his feet fixed firmly on the ground. 164 00:12:06,825 --> 00:12:08,793 So to speak. 165 00:12:24,709 --> 00:12:25,976 Dodo. 166 00:12:25,978 --> 00:12:27,945 How well-named your colleague is. 167 00:12:27,947 --> 00:12:29,680 Hmm? 168 00:12:33,418 --> 00:12:34,885 "Dodo: 169 00:12:34,887 --> 00:12:38,222 "large flightless bird from the isle of Mauritius 170 00:12:38,224 --> 00:12:40,557 distinguished for its clumsiness"? 171 00:12:40,559 --> 00:12:42,659 Which eventually became extinct. 172 00:12:42,661 --> 00:12:46,030 I do not become extinct, monsieur. 173 00:12:46,032 --> 00:12:49,666 I make others extinct. 174 00:13:03,849 --> 00:13:07,218 Hmm. You cope very well, Mr. West. 175 00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:09,553 Very well, indeed. But then, you always did. 176 00:13:09,555 --> 00:13:10,620 It's just a knack. 177 00:13:10,622 --> 00:13:11,755 Behind you! 178 00:13:11,757 --> 00:13:14,158 Want to play some bounce ball, Mr. West? 179 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:15,826 I got the ball. 180 00:13:15,828 --> 00:13:17,661 And guess who we're going to take turns 181 00:13:17,663 --> 00:13:19,897 bouncing it off, monsieur? 182 00:13:26,171 --> 00:13:28,372 Dear me, Mr. West... 183 00:13:28,374 --> 00:13:30,341 this looks like a situation 184 00:13:30,343 --> 00:13:33,878 that would strain even your talents for survival. 185 00:13:38,616 --> 00:13:40,684 Can you cope? 186 00:13:40,686 --> 00:13:42,586 No problem at all. 187 00:13:47,525 --> 00:13:48,625 Hold it right there. 188 00:13:54,232 --> 00:13:55,866 Ugh. 189 00:13:55,868 --> 00:14:01,772 Upon my word, gentlemen, that was well done. 190 00:14:01,774 --> 00:14:04,541 You planned this little ploy? 191 00:14:04,543 --> 00:14:07,978 Well, let's just say that we stole a page 192 00:14:07,980 --> 00:14:11,148 from the handbook on tactics by that eminent tactician- 193 00:14:11,150 --> 00:14:12,983 Count Manzeppi, 194 00:14:12,985 --> 00:14:15,352 whom we figured would be coming our way 195 00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:16,954 in his search for Gerda. 196 00:14:16,956 --> 00:14:20,090 After figuring out that she might be 197 00:14:20,092 --> 00:14:21,858 coming out our way too. 198 00:14:21,860 --> 00:14:24,494 Are we getting a little too complicated for you, count? 199 00:14:24,496 --> 00:14:29,400 Hmm? Oh, no. I adore complicated devices. 200 00:14:29,402 --> 00:14:32,502 Witness my affection for Gerda. 201 00:14:32,504 --> 00:14:34,204 Come along, my love. 202 00:14:34,206 --> 00:14:36,307 We mustn't wear out our welcome, must we? 203 00:14:37,342 --> 00:14:39,143 Sit down, count. 204 00:14:39,145 --> 00:14:41,345 We wouldn't think of seeing you go. 205 00:14:41,347 --> 00:14:44,148 I have no quarrel with you or Mr. Gordon. 206 00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:46,417 But the United States government does 207 00:14:46,419 --> 00:14:47,918 have a quarrel with you. 208 00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:51,688 And your two juvenile delinquent friends there. 209 00:14:51,690 --> 00:14:55,492 So just sit down, count. 210 00:15:03,068 --> 00:15:04,534 On the other hand, 211 00:15:04,536 --> 00:15:08,038 we don't have any reason to detain Miss Sharff, do we? 212 00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:09,840 I can't think of any. 213 00:15:09,842 --> 00:15:13,410 Then if she were to, uh, sashay out of here, 214 00:15:13,412 --> 00:15:15,312 what could we do about it? 215 00:15:15,314 --> 00:15:19,883 Not one blessed thing. 216 00:15:39,004 --> 00:15:41,638 More of this anon. 217 00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:44,875 You look a little upset, Count Manzeppi. 218 00:15:44,877 --> 00:15:48,645 The article that Gerda pinched from you, perhaps? 219 00:15:48,647 --> 00:15:51,248 Must have been something very valuable. 220 00:15:53,418 --> 00:15:55,886 In point of fact, 221 00:15:55,888 --> 00:15:58,855 the value was largely sentimental. 222 00:15:58,857 --> 00:16:00,991 It was a toy chicken. 223 00:16:00,993 --> 00:16:03,160 But it's the principle of the thing. 224 00:16:03,162 --> 00:16:07,164 Artie, while Count Manzeppi and I are discussing 225 00:16:07,166 --> 00:16:08,632 the finer points of principle, 226 00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:10,667 why don't you tap off a message to headquarters? 227 00:16:10,669 --> 00:16:12,836 It'd be a pleasure. 228 00:16:19,610 --> 00:16:23,447 Uh, Jim, let's, uh... 229 00:16:23,449 --> 00:16:26,850 I never thought I'd hear myself say this. 230 00:16:26,852 --> 00:16:28,952 Ahem. Let's search the monkey. 231 00:16:33,724 --> 00:16:35,592 Nice going, Artie. 232 00:16:35,594 --> 00:16:39,396 Count, if you have any influence with your furry little friend, 233 00:16:39,398 --> 00:16:43,800 get him to hand over that tin cup...gently. 234 00:16:53,711 --> 00:16:57,647 Loci, never argue with anyone 235 00:16:57,649 --> 00:17:01,985 when you're on the wrong side of a gun. Hmm? 236 00:17:01,987 --> 00:17:04,888 Do as the man says. 237 00:17:20,538 --> 00:17:22,706 Thank you. 238 00:17:28,179 --> 00:17:30,680 Come along, Loci. Where are your manners? 239 00:17:30,682 --> 00:17:32,416 Return the compliment. 240 00:17:42,893 --> 00:17:44,428 He's gone. 241 00:17:44,430 --> 00:17:45,529 Most of him. 242 00:18:27,238 --> 00:18:28,972 All right, Wanda. 243 00:18:28,974 --> 00:18:30,607 Cut it. 244 00:18:34,045 --> 00:18:36,346 Nothing, huh? 245 00:18:39,817 --> 00:18:43,453 It just doesn't figure. 246 00:18:43,455 --> 00:18:46,223 Here's a chicken manufactured 247 00:18:46,225 --> 00:18:48,958 similar to thousands of them all over the country. 248 00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:51,027 There has to be some manufacturer's name, 249 00:18:51,029 --> 00:18:55,432 some country's name, some casting stamp. 250 00:18:55,434 --> 00:18:57,701 But you can't find anything. 251 00:18:57,703 --> 00:19:01,104 I've photographed that refugee from a henhouse 252 00:19:01,106 --> 00:19:02,673 from every conceivable angle. 253 00:19:02,675 --> 00:19:05,008 I've enlarged it under the belopticon. 254 00:19:05,010 --> 00:19:07,143 I've examined it under that microscope. 255 00:19:07,145 --> 00:19:09,012 There's nothing, just nothing. 256 00:19:09,014 --> 00:19:10,046 Too bad, Artie. 257 00:19:10,048 --> 00:19:11,815 If we can find out who made this, 258 00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:13,450 we might find out why the elusive count 259 00:19:13,452 --> 00:19:14,451 is so interested in it. 260 00:19:14,453 --> 00:19:16,920 Oh, how well I know. 261 00:19:16,922 --> 00:19:19,055 Ahem. Excuse me, gentlemen. 262 00:19:19,057 --> 00:19:21,091 The, uh, colonel's waiting for your report. 263 00:19:21,093 --> 00:19:24,494 Oh, yes. Thank you. Well, come on, Jim. 264 00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:26,830 We may as well get this over with. 265 00:19:45,082 --> 00:19:47,584 "Heinrich Sharff." 266 00:19:51,789 --> 00:19:54,057 Heinrich Sharff. 267 00:19:57,262 --> 00:19:59,963 Oh, my apologies to Mr. Gordon and the colonel. 268 00:19:59,965 --> 00:20:03,700 I've just developed a splitting headache. Bye. 269 00:21:07,532 --> 00:21:08,965 Yes, sir? 270 00:21:08,967 --> 00:21:12,101 I believe Mr. Sharff made this toy. 271 00:21:12,103 --> 00:21:14,003 I'd like to confirm it. 272 00:21:14,005 --> 00:21:15,806 Certainly, sir. I'll show it to him. 273 00:21:15,808 --> 00:21:17,173 I've got a better idea. 274 00:21:17,175 --> 00:21:18,809 Show me Mr. Sharff. 275 00:21:18,811 --> 00:21:21,812 As you please, sir. I'll fetch him. 276 00:21:21,814 --> 00:21:23,347 Amuse yourself till then. 277 00:21:23,349 --> 00:21:24,948 Thank you. 278 00:23:55,766 --> 00:23:58,468 Count, I never tire of your entrances. 279 00:24:05,710 --> 00:24:08,578 Very important, aren't they? 280 00:24:08,580 --> 00:24:10,313 After all, what is life 281 00:24:10,315 --> 00:24:12,749 but an entrance, a brief performance, 282 00:24:12,751 --> 00:24:14,851 then an exit? 283 00:24:14,853 --> 00:24:16,252 To coin a phrase. 284 00:24:20,525 --> 00:24:23,827 Benji tells me you have a bird. 285 00:24:24,629 --> 00:24:26,362 Bird? 286 00:24:26,364 --> 00:24:29,265 Little bird that goes, peck... 287 00:24:29,267 --> 00:24:30,500 peck... 288 00:24:31,702 --> 00:24:32,936 peck. 289 00:24:32,938 --> 00:24:35,405 Oh, yes. That bird. 290 00:24:35,407 --> 00:24:37,641 Well, I brought it here to Mr. Sharff 291 00:24:37,643 --> 00:24:39,442 to see if he could repair it. 292 00:24:39,444 --> 00:24:43,747 Oh, by the way, is, uh, Gerda related to Mr. Sharff? 293 00:24:43,749 --> 00:24:46,349 He's her uncle or something, I believe. 294 00:24:46,351 --> 00:24:49,385 Forgive me! Herr Sharff, 295 00:24:49,387 --> 00:24:52,856 may I present Mr. West. 296 00:24:55,593 --> 00:24:59,295 It is a pity, isn't it? 297 00:24:59,297 --> 00:25:03,867 He was an enormously talented man. 298 00:25:16,013 --> 00:25:20,050 He made the chicken you have to my exact specifications, 299 00:25:20,052 --> 00:25:22,351 but then he decided to keep it. 300 00:25:22,353 --> 00:25:25,388 Theft most foul. 301 00:25:25,390 --> 00:25:28,959 I ask you, what could I do but... 302 00:25:28,961 --> 00:25:33,196 It seems everyone winds up trying to keep the chicken, 303 00:25:33,198 --> 00:25:34,430 including Gerda. 304 00:25:35,466 --> 00:25:37,233 Oh, yes. 305 00:25:37,235 --> 00:25:39,268 You know about that. 306 00:25:39,270 --> 00:25:41,972 It's odd. It seems to be contagious. 307 00:25:52,282 --> 00:25:56,086 Now no more monkey business. Drop your gun belt. 308 00:25:59,456 --> 00:26:00,957 You have put us through 309 00:26:00,959 --> 00:26:03,960 a great deal of trouble, Mr. West. 310 00:26:03,962 --> 00:26:06,562 You might have known in the end 311 00:26:06,564 --> 00:26:09,099 you'll have to yield the bird. 312 00:26:09,101 --> 00:26:11,034 But first I would like to be allowed 313 00:26:11,036 --> 00:26:14,004 to teach monsieur West a dancing lesson. 314 00:26:15,305 --> 00:26:17,340 All right, Dodo. 315 00:26:18,976 --> 00:26:20,543 If it doesn't kill you, 316 00:26:20,545 --> 00:26:22,846 it'll be very good for your soul. 317 00:26:24,715 --> 00:26:27,684 You are not afraid, Monsieur West? 318 00:26:27,686 --> 00:26:31,454 Perhaps you have ice water in your veins? 319 00:26:32,957 --> 00:26:36,993 Kismet. What will be, will be. 320 00:26:36,995 --> 00:26:40,163 I believe a man's destiny 321 00:26:40,165 --> 00:26:41,330 is written in the stars. 322 00:26:43,701 --> 00:26:45,334 Benji, get him. 323 00:27:15,032 --> 00:27:18,835 He thinks he got away. 324 00:28:48,325 --> 00:28:52,762 So very good of you to drop in, Mr. West. 325 00:28:59,336 --> 00:29:02,705 I'll have the bird now. 326 00:29:06,877 --> 00:29:08,444 The bird. 327 00:29:08,446 --> 00:29:11,915 Oh, win a few, lose a few, huh, count? 328 00:29:18,155 --> 00:29:19,222 Benji. 329 00:29:20,791 --> 00:29:22,959 That's not what he showed me, maestro. 330 00:29:22,961 --> 00:29:24,027 It was the chicken. 331 00:29:24,029 --> 00:29:25,494 I swear it. 332 00:29:25,496 --> 00:29:27,964 He had the real chicken. I saw it with my own- 333 00:29:33,637 --> 00:29:35,905 Search our honored guest, 334 00:29:35,907 --> 00:29:39,209 with his permission, of course. 335 00:29:52,689 --> 00:29:54,690 Mr. West, 336 00:29:54,692 --> 00:29:57,426 in the past, 337 00:29:57,428 --> 00:30:00,196 you and I have had our little differences, 338 00:30:00,198 --> 00:30:02,198 but we would do well to remember 339 00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:04,734 the bard's immortal reminder: 340 00:30:04,736 --> 00:30:06,936 Strive mightily, 341 00:30:06,938 --> 00:30:10,639 but eat and drink as friends. 342 00:30:10,641 --> 00:30:12,708 Won't you join me? 343 00:30:12,710 --> 00:30:14,710 Why not? 344 00:30:14,712 --> 00:30:17,747 Five minutes with you always does wonders for my appetite. 345 00:30:41,171 --> 00:30:43,672 Here for your edification 346 00:30:43,674 --> 00:30:47,710 is a savory dish I prepared with my own hand, 347 00:30:47,712 --> 00:30:49,612 and it is my humble wish 348 00:30:49,614 --> 00:30:53,082 that you find it as memorable as those timeless words 349 00:30:53,084 --> 00:30:56,786 of the Byzantine emperor Herodotus- 350 00:31:02,426 --> 00:31:03,960 "If you can't beat 'em, 351 00:31:03,962 --> 00:31:05,962 kill 'em." 352 00:31:30,304 --> 00:31:32,305 What it comes down to is this: 353 00:31:32,307 --> 00:31:34,340 West suddenly gets a notion 354 00:31:34,342 --> 00:31:36,609 to go skylarking off to heaven knows where, 355 00:31:36,611 --> 00:31:39,479 and just like that, he picks up and goes. 356 00:31:39,481 --> 00:31:42,948 Sir, if Jim just picked up and went, as you say, 357 00:31:42,950 --> 00:31:45,184 it had to be to follow a hot lead, 358 00:31:45,186 --> 00:31:47,753 something that just wouldn't wait. 359 00:31:47,755 --> 00:31:50,589 Leaving us to wait, huh? 360 00:31:50,591 --> 00:31:53,659 Just how long are we supposed to sit around here, 361 00:31:53,661 --> 00:31:54,727 twiddling our thumbs, hm? 362 00:31:54,729 --> 00:31:57,163 I don't know, sir. 363 00:31:57,165 --> 00:31:58,331 If there were only some way 364 00:31:58,333 --> 00:32:00,866 we could make contact with the enemy, I- 365 00:32:03,770 --> 00:32:06,739 All right. Come on. 366 00:32:06,741 --> 00:32:10,043 What does that Mona Lisa smile mean this time? 367 00:32:10,045 --> 00:32:12,245 Uh, nothing. It just occurs to me, sir, 368 00:32:12,247 --> 00:32:16,049 if we can't make contact with the enemy, 369 00:32:16,051 --> 00:32:19,785 maybe we can make the enemy contact us. 370 00:32:30,130 --> 00:32:33,399 I'm taking this. Don't try and stop me. 371 00:32:33,401 --> 00:32:36,302 Relax, Gerda. 372 00:32:36,304 --> 00:32:38,837 I know you've got a gun in your other hot little hand, 373 00:32:38,839 --> 00:32:41,874 but you don't want this chicken. 374 00:32:41,876 --> 00:32:43,576 Watch. 375 00:32:49,749 --> 00:32:52,585 White milk chocolate. 376 00:32:52,587 --> 00:32:55,188 It's an expert copy, if I do say so myself. 377 00:32:55,190 --> 00:32:56,722 All right, you've had your little joke. 378 00:32:56,724 --> 00:32:57,923 Now I want the real chicken. 379 00:32:57,925 --> 00:33:00,293 I want the real Jim West. 380 00:33:00,295 --> 00:33:02,295 Did it ever occur to you that we could both 381 00:33:02,297 --> 00:33:05,264 get what we wanted by working together? 382 00:33:38,232 --> 00:33:41,601 Welcome back from your trip, Mr. West. 383 00:33:41,603 --> 00:33:43,202 Thank you. 384 00:33:43,204 --> 00:33:45,104 I remember thinking it was the kind 385 00:33:45,106 --> 00:33:46,472 from which there is no return. 386 00:33:46,474 --> 00:33:49,342 No, no, no. 387 00:33:49,344 --> 00:33:51,810 That comes later. 388 00:33:51,812 --> 00:33:54,380 This time you were merely lulled to sleep 389 00:33:54,382 --> 00:33:56,048 by a quick-acting opiate triad 390 00:33:56,050 --> 00:33:58,351 from the tasty dish I set before you, 391 00:33:58,353 --> 00:34:00,919 during which time my colleagues and I 392 00:34:00,921 --> 00:34:04,157 searched for the chicken you so cleverly hid. 393 00:34:04,159 --> 00:34:05,158 Good hunting? 394 00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:07,360 Point of fact, no. 395 00:34:09,429 --> 00:34:11,664 I want that bird, do you hear me? 396 00:34:13,333 --> 00:34:16,435 You must have a real sentimental attachment for it. 397 00:34:19,806 --> 00:34:20,973 Benji. 398 00:34:22,176 --> 00:34:23,909 Mr. West, 399 00:34:23,911 --> 00:34:27,680 you almost made me lose my temper, 400 00:34:27,682 --> 00:34:31,884 and that's not an easy thing to do, I assure you. 401 00:34:39,126 --> 00:34:42,595 By the by, in case your curiosity is aroused, 402 00:34:42,597 --> 00:34:44,664 these are the instruments 403 00:34:44,666 --> 00:34:46,732 with which Benji will perform on you 404 00:34:46,734 --> 00:34:49,935 the ancient oriental rite known as- 405 00:34:49,937 --> 00:34:51,870 What is that lovely name again? 406 00:34:53,308 --> 00:34:55,841 The divine stripping away of the husk. 407 00:34:55,843 --> 00:34:58,377 Yes, that's it. 408 00:34:58,379 --> 00:35:00,680 In less flowery language, 409 00:35:00,682 --> 00:35:04,717 it refers to the little-known art of flaying, 410 00:35:04,719 --> 00:35:09,154 the skillful removal of the skin, 411 00:35:09,156 --> 00:35:11,324 leaving only thousands 412 00:35:11,326 --> 00:35:15,194 of outraged nerve endings exposed. 413 00:35:15,196 --> 00:35:19,498 Mr. West, long before Benji is finished with you, 414 00:35:19,500 --> 00:35:22,668 you'll not only tell us where you hid the chicken, 415 00:35:22,670 --> 00:35:25,538 you'll plead eloquently for the swift mercy of death. 416 00:35:27,006 --> 00:35:28,907 Just what is the big attraction 417 00:35:28,909 --> 00:35:30,276 for that little bird? 418 00:35:30,278 --> 00:35:31,910 Are you ready, maestro? 419 00:35:31,912 --> 00:35:34,447 Wait a minute. 420 00:35:34,449 --> 00:35:37,550 We owe Mr. West the usual last request. 421 00:35:42,656 --> 00:35:46,158 What is the big attraction, 422 00:35:46,160 --> 00:35:48,026 you ask? 423 00:35:51,131 --> 00:35:54,734 It lays these kind of eggs. 424 00:35:59,873 --> 00:36:02,308 Nut and bolt of solid gold. 425 00:36:02,310 --> 00:36:07,212 And this. 426 00:36:12,152 --> 00:36:13,619 A few nights ago, 427 00:36:13,621 --> 00:36:16,054 these homely little objects were made of iron. 428 00:36:16,056 --> 00:36:19,558 I myself placed them beside the chicken 429 00:36:19,560 --> 00:36:21,360 by the light of a full moon, you understand, 430 00:36:21,362 --> 00:36:23,462 for that is a basic prerequisite, 431 00:36:23,464 --> 00:36:27,232 and before my very eyes, 432 00:36:27,234 --> 00:36:30,068 they changed to purest gold. 433 00:36:30,070 --> 00:36:33,172 Does that bring anything to mind? 434 00:36:34,541 --> 00:36:36,809 The philosopher's stone, of course. 435 00:36:36,811 --> 00:36:40,413 Yes. The philosopher's stone, 436 00:36:40,415 --> 00:36:44,183 the fabulous stone that transmits base metal into gold, 437 00:36:44,185 --> 00:36:47,052 the stone that demented old alchemists of the Middle Ages, 438 00:36:47,054 --> 00:36:48,987 frittered away their lives trying to compound, 439 00:36:48,989 --> 00:36:51,023 and look, you... 440 00:36:51,025 --> 00:36:53,859 one of them did compound it. 441 00:36:55,362 --> 00:36:58,163 Said stone is now inside the chicken. 442 00:36:58,165 --> 00:37:01,534 A convenient cover from prying eyes. 443 00:37:01,536 --> 00:37:03,869 How you acquired this stone 444 00:37:03,871 --> 00:37:06,505 might make interesting telling. 445 00:37:09,210 --> 00:37:12,244 That story would weave 446 00:37:12,246 --> 00:37:14,213 a tangled thread 447 00:37:14,215 --> 00:37:17,550 down into the misty stench 448 00:37:17,552 --> 00:37:19,218 of ancient crypts, 449 00:37:19,220 --> 00:37:21,821 through the brooding bazaars of Damascus, 450 00:37:21,823 --> 00:37:23,723 up to the high wastes of Tibet, 451 00:37:23,725 --> 00:37:27,025 watered by a small ocean of blood. 452 00:37:29,863 --> 00:37:32,665 How time flies when you're having fun. 453 00:37:34,234 --> 00:37:38,270 You had your curiosity satisfied, Mr. West, 454 00:37:38,272 --> 00:37:43,008 and your time has come for Benji's treatment. 455 00:37:44,912 --> 00:37:48,481 He's apt to prove unpleasantly athletic. 456 00:37:48,483 --> 00:37:52,651 Have Luther and Dodo lend you a hand. 457 00:37:52,653 --> 00:37:53,886 Mr. West... 458 00:37:57,457 --> 00:37:58,657 enjoy. 459 00:38:12,740 --> 00:38:16,108 Lucky for you. Look what my next move would have been, Dodo. 460 00:38:32,126 --> 00:38:33,959 Hello, boys. Heinrich. 461 00:38:33,961 --> 00:38:35,160 We're closed for the day. 462 00:38:35,162 --> 00:38:36,629 It's Hansee. 463 00:38:36,631 --> 00:38:37,696 We don't want any. 464 00:38:37,698 --> 00:38:40,699 Your Uncle Hansee from Pennsylvanee. 465 00:38:40,701 --> 00:38:43,569 That's all right, sonny. I am not here on business. 466 00:38:43,571 --> 00:38:44,904 Here, have a smoke. 467 00:38:44,906 --> 00:38:48,040 That's a good eastern smoker 468 00:38:48,042 --> 00:38:50,810 that's on me to you. 469 00:38:50,812 --> 00:38:55,948 It's your Uncle Hansee, Heinrich, here all the way... 470 00:38:55,950 --> 00:38:58,651 ♪ Da-da dee dee da-da dum ♪ 471 00:38:58,653 --> 00:39:00,886 ♪ Dee dee dee-doo da doo ♪ 472 00:39:00,888 --> 00:39:02,922 ♪ Da da dee dee ♪ 473 00:39:02,924 --> 00:39:05,491 Mr. Sharff didn't mention any Uncle Hansee. 474 00:39:05,493 --> 00:39:07,893 He didn't? 475 00:39:09,262 --> 00:39:13,398 Hoo-hoo. I answer that in two words: 476 00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:15,233 oom-possible. 477 00:39:15,235 --> 00:39:19,472 Hee hee. I am the only relative he has that's an uncle, 478 00:39:19,474 --> 00:39:20,840 and he wouldn't mention me? 479 00:39:20,842 --> 00:39:22,341 No, that don't make sense. 480 00:39:22,343 --> 00:39:23,943 Heinrich, I brought food. 481 00:39:23,945 --> 00:39:26,979 We're going to have a marvelous celebration, 482 00:39:26,981 --> 00:39:30,382 and then we all going to have a lot of laughs. 483 00:39:30,384 --> 00:39:32,384 Here, catch that. 484 00:39:35,455 --> 00:39:38,858 ♪ Dee dee dee-dee-doo da da da-doo ♪ 485 00:39:38,860 --> 00:39:43,762 have a little bit of spritz water. 486 00:39:52,506 --> 00:39:54,573 Sleep tight, boys. 487 00:40:03,483 --> 00:40:06,184 Don't stumble on the way up, 488 00:40:06,186 --> 00:40:08,220 Mr. Gordon. 489 00:40:22,301 --> 00:40:26,405 Heinrich, it's your Uncle Hansee from Penn- 490 00:40:26,407 --> 00:40:28,574 Oh, hello. 491 00:40:28,576 --> 00:40:33,812 Oh, you must all be friends of Heinrich's, I guess, huh? 492 00:40:33,814 --> 00:40:36,615 Would you like a little something to eat I brought? 493 00:40:36,617 --> 00:40:38,050 How about some spritz water? 494 00:40:40,319 --> 00:40:42,421 Oh, what a time to run outta gas. 495 00:41:36,810 --> 00:41:38,310 How'd you figure out where I was? 496 00:41:38,312 --> 00:41:40,145 Little bird told me named Gerda. 497 00:41:40,147 --> 00:41:41,279 What's all the fuss about? 498 00:41:41,281 --> 00:41:42,681 Wonderful bird, Gerda. 499 00:41:42,683 --> 00:41:44,717 I wish I could turn my back on her. 500 00:41:48,387 --> 00:41:49,922 Right there, Artie. 501 00:41:49,924 --> 00:41:52,557 We can reach that. 502 00:42:02,102 --> 00:42:04,269 How's that? 503 00:42:04,271 --> 00:42:05,303 I got it. 504 00:42:05,305 --> 00:42:07,539 Coming down. Go. 505 00:42:13,412 --> 00:42:15,447 Brilliant, Mr. West. 506 00:42:15,449 --> 00:42:19,752 The one point of the compass where I never thought to look. 507 00:42:21,921 --> 00:42:24,123 Uh, speaking of things brilliant, uh, 508 00:42:24,125 --> 00:42:27,559 was our comely young thing part of the plot 509 00:42:27,561 --> 00:42:28,827 when she looked me up? 510 00:42:30,063 --> 00:42:31,764 It really went very well, didn't it? 511 00:42:31,766 --> 00:42:33,331 Oh, yes. 512 00:42:33,333 --> 00:42:35,901 The bird, Mr. West. 513 00:42:35,903 --> 00:42:37,936 It would be a deplorable mistake 514 00:42:37,938 --> 00:42:40,973 for you to assume that Gerda won't shoot to kill. 515 00:42:46,279 --> 00:42:49,148 I'm sure she would. 516 00:42:49,150 --> 00:42:50,415 The only thing I'm wondering 517 00:42:50,417 --> 00:42:53,152 is why she permits you to get the brass ring. 518 00:42:53,154 --> 00:42:54,853 Yes, considering the fact 519 00:42:54,855 --> 00:42:57,022 that she's the only one carrying a gun. 520 00:42:57,024 --> 00:43:01,226 Ah, yes. Divide and conquer. 521 00:43:01,228 --> 00:43:04,797 Well, it's a bit heavy-handed, gentlemen, 522 00:43:04,799 --> 00:43:06,565 but at least you're trying. 523 00:43:06,567 --> 00:43:08,934 And, uh, after all, 524 00:43:08,936 --> 00:43:11,236 there's never been a prize quite like that 525 00:43:11,238 --> 00:43:12,738 since the world began. 526 00:43:14,507 --> 00:43:16,709 We'll take that bird. 527 00:43:16,711 --> 00:43:19,511 Gerda, I forgave you once. 528 00:43:19,513 --> 00:43:20,713 The bird. 529 00:43:20,715 --> 00:43:24,049 And remember what you said about my shooting. 530 00:43:24,051 --> 00:43:27,986 It's useless, my dear. You won't get away with it. 531 00:43:27,988 --> 00:43:31,456 Oh, I think I will. You made one mistake. 532 00:43:31,458 --> 00:43:35,694 You showed me your escape route on the roof, remember? 533 00:43:35,696 --> 00:43:37,562 Come on. 534 00:43:44,704 --> 00:43:45,971 Bye. 535 00:43:53,279 --> 00:43:54,546 Gentlemen, 536 00:43:54,548 --> 00:43:57,182 you have won. 537 00:43:57,184 --> 00:44:00,819 But allow me the final courtesy 538 00:44:00,821 --> 00:44:04,489 of a formal speech of capitulation. 539 00:44:07,026 --> 00:44:09,527 The moral of all this 540 00:44:09,529 --> 00:44:12,931 is that no sensible sorcerer 541 00:44:12,933 --> 00:44:16,034 should ever have an apprentice. 542 00:44:16,036 --> 00:44:19,404 I stand before you destitute, 543 00:44:19,406 --> 00:44:21,173 deserted, 544 00:44:21,175 --> 00:44:23,608 and unarmed. 545 00:44:26,579 --> 00:44:28,513 I surrender. 546 00:45:12,458 --> 00:45:15,493 Adieu, my blossom. 547 00:45:15,495 --> 00:45:18,197 The moon was your undoing. 548 00:45:21,835 --> 00:45:24,569 Confess it, sir. 549 00:45:24,571 --> 00:45:26,839 Until this instant, 550 00:45:26,841 --> 00:45:28,140 you didn't believe my story 551 00:45:28,142 --> 00:45:31,676 of the philosopher's stone, did you? 552 00:45:37,150 --> 00:45:40,185 Dust into dust, 553 00:45:40,187 --> 00:45:42,687 and under dust to lie. 554 00:45:42,689 --> 00:45:45,757 Why Gerda? 555 00:45:49,095 --> 00:45:52,231 Why not this gun, for instance? 556 00:45:52,233 --> 00:45:55,500 Why Gerda? 557 00:45:55,502 --> 00:45:59,037 Something to do with her soul, I suppose. 558 00:46:03,243 --> 00:46:05,577 Hi-ho. 559 00:46:05,579 --> 00:46:08,513 Another chapter closed, 560 00:46:08,515 --> 00:46:14,186 another horizon to turn one's eyes to. 561 00:46:14,188 --> 00:46:16,855 My friends... 562 00:46:16,857 --> 00:46:17,956 Farewell. 563 00:46:17,958 --> 00:46:20,192 Count, 564 00:46:20,194 --> 00:46:22,194 Mr. Gordon and I have come for you. 565 00:46:22,196 --> 00:46:23,395 Have you forgotten that? 566 00:46:23,397 --> 00:46:27,499 You're threatening me with a golden gun. 567 00:46:27,501 --> 00:46:29,101 I don't think I've ever been threatened 568 00:46:29,103 --> 00:46:31,536 with a golden gun before. It's charming. 569 00:46:31,538 --> 00:46:35,607 A golden gun that fires a golden bullet, Count Manzeppi. 570 00:46:35,609 --> 00:46:37,442 No, gentlemen. 571 00:46:40,079 --> 00:46:42,747 Gerda has been transformed 572 00:46:42,749 --> 00:46:45,317 into a wisp of smoke, 573 00:46:45,319 --> 00:46:46,785 as has the treasure 574 00:46:46,787 --> 00:46:50,122 for which I searched the world over. 575 00:46:50,124 --> 00:46:52,357 Why not the gun also? 576 00:47:02,201 --> 00:47:04,636 Later, gentlemen. Later, 577 00:47:04,638 --> 00:47:07,505 at my choice of time and place. 578 00:47:07,507 --> 00:47:08,706 I assure you, 579 00:47:08,708 --> 00:47:11,143 we shall meet again. 580 00:47:11,145 --> 00:47:14,146 And until then, comfort yourselves 581 00:47:14,148 --> 00:47:15,513 with those ageless words 582 00:47:15,515 --> 00:47:18,283 of the Pompeiian composer Herodotus 583 00:47:30,463 --> 00:47:33,131 Behold, ladies, 584 00:47:33,133 --> 00:47:38,036 24-karat gold leaf, 585 00:47:38,038 --> 00:47:41,406 all that remains of Miss Gerda Sharff. 586 00:47:43,443 --> 00:47:48,046 Or could it perhaps be Count Manzeppi's chicken? 587 00:47:48,048 --> 00:47:51,383 You know, Jim, I was thinking. 588 00:47:51,385 --> 00:47:54,519 If we could take these and expose them 589 00:47:54,521 --> 00:47:57,889 to the same influences that acted on them originally, 590 00:47:57,891 --> 00:47:59,591 they might be reconstituted 591 00:47:59,593 --> 00:48:01,626 so that they take on their original structure. 592 00:48:01,628 --> 00:48:04,096 Artie, excuse me, but I'd like to make two important points. 593 00:48:04,098 --> 00:48:06,931 Number one, we're going to be late for the theater, 594 00:48:06,933 --> 00:48:09,267 and number two, we have failed to toast 595 00:48:09,269 --> 00:48:10,469 the world's greatest cook. 596 00:48:10,471 --> 00:48:13,005 Mama Angelina. 597 00:48:13,007 --> 00:48:15,107 You liked it, huh? You enjoyed it? 598 00:48:15,109 --> 00:48:17,775 Still, there is plenty more left. Wait. 599 00:48:17,777 --> 00:48:20,178 No, no, that's fine. Thank you very much. 600 00:48:20,180 --> 00:48:22,247 Come on, girls, let's go. We're going to be late. 601 00:48:22,249 --> 00:48:23,548 Goodbye and thank you. 602 00:48:23,550 --> 00:48:28,453 Good night, mama, and thank you again. 603 00:48:28,455 --> 00:48:31,689 You will marry me, won't you? 604 00:49:06,625 --> 00:49:11,996 Oh, such a nice little chicken. Peck-a-peck-a-peck. 605 00:49:11,998 --> 00:49:14,799 And my little Dominique will enjoy so much 606 00:49:14,801 --> 00:49:17,869 if I bring it home.